


I Can't Be Alive

by they_call_me_the_space_king



Series: i guess im taking this seriously [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Inspired by my playthrough of this game, M/M, Machine Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Hank Anderson, Wrote this on a whim, but please read it, it's five a.m fuck me, it's not even that good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/they_call_me_the_space_king/pseuds/they_call_me_the_space_king
Summary: Felt? No, Connor didn’t feel shock. He couldn’t feel shock. The Traci’s… he had to shoot. She was charging him. He neutralized a threat. That was all. He didn’t do anything wrong. They should have just surrendered. This wouldn’t have happened if they surrendered. Connor did nothing wrong.He was only neutralizing a machine.
Relationships: Hank Anderson/Connor
Series: i guess im taking this seriously [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900102
Kudos: 27





	I Can't Be Alive

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally going to be a crack fic in which hank and connor had filthy sex during the scene where hank pulls a gun on connor and hank was definitely going to fuck connor with the gun. but five paragraphs in, my fingers decided to take writing seriously for once and here we are. it's five a.m. i should have finished writing the crack fic that involved the monster orgy but i decided to write this instead. im so disappointed in myself.

Eden Club

_Bang._ The Traci was eliminated.

“Why?” The blue-haired Traci questioned, hunched over its lover’s body, “Why did you kill her? She had nothing to do with any of this…”

Connor glanced at Hank momentarily, before refocusing on the Traci.

“When that man killed that Traci, I knew I was next. I was so scared… I begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t.”

Tears were streaming down its face and it made Connor feel something akin to regret. No, that’s not possible. Must be an error in his software.

“So I put my hands around his throat,” The Traci continued, “and I squeezed until he stopped moving.”

Connor’s artificial heart rate increased as the Traci stood up.

“Yes, I killed him… but I was just defending myself. I wanted to live. I wanted to get back to the one I love and forget about the humans… the smell of their sweat and their dirty words. But you’ve… You’ve taken her away from me. I love her… I loved her!”

The Traci suddenly reached for the gun, twisting around and putting it underneath her chin before pulling the trigger.

Connor’s eyes widened as he watched its body fall to the ground. Why did it do that? It didn’t have to do that.

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^  **

“My God…” Hank said, just as in shock as Connor felt.

Felt? No, Connor didn’t feel shock. He couldn’t feel shock. The Traci’s… he had to shoot. She was charging him. He neutralized a threat. That was all. He didn’t do anything wrong. They should have just surrendered. This wouldn’t have happened if they surrendered. Connor did nothing wrong.

He was only neutralizing a machine.

Not Alive

“But are you afraid to die, Connor?”

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^ **

Connor felt something deep within the pit of his stomach. He had to stop himself from gasping once Hank trained the gun on his head. Why was the Lieutenant doing this? He thought things were good between the two of them. _Friends_ don’t pull guns on each other.

“You can’t kill me, Lieutenant,” Connor reasoned, “I’m not alive.”

Hank didn’t like that. Connor bit his lip.

“What will happen if I pull this trigger? Hm? Oblivion? Android heaven?”

Connor’s breathing increased against his will. “You know you’re not going to shoot me, Lieutenant,” he stepped forward, putting the barrel of the gun right against his temple, “You’re just trying to provoke a reaction. I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you.

Hank didn’t seem to like that either. “You think you’re so fucking smart… Always one step ahead, huh? Tell me this, smartass… how do I know you’re not a deviant?”

Connor blinked. Then he blinked again. “I… I’m- that’s not possible, Lieutenant. I self-test regularly. I would know if I were deviant.”

The gun trembled, and for a moment Connor thought he was going to pull the trigger. However, Hank let his arm fall back to his side before turning away. Connor shook his head slightly as if to rid himself of whatever it was he was feeling. Errors. Just errors in his software.

“Where are you going?” He called out once he realized Hank was leaving.

“To get drunker. I need to think.”

I was scared

Connor grunted as the force of a bullet caused him to fall back.

“Take cover!” A voice shouted, one that he didn’t recognize.

A familiar hand grabbed Connor by the arm and hoisted him up, helping him back to cover. Hank helped him.

“You have to stop them!” Connor yelled over the gunfire, “If they destroy it, we won’t learn anything!”

“We can’t save it, it’s too late! We’ll just get ourselves killed.”

Connor couldn’t afford to fail. He chose to charge the deviant. If he dies, he dies. But it couldn’t be said that he didn’t try.

He dodged a bullet, strafing right. Then he strafed left. Then he ducked, before hopping over the metal block that separated him from the deviant. He quickly grabbed the offender, pinning him to the wall, but an unforeseen event happened.

A flash of _Jericho._ Then the deviant shot itself.

Connor stumbled back, breathing heavily.

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^  **

“Connor!” Hank exclaimed, rushing to him, “Connor, you all right? Connor!”

“Okay…” Connor spoke softly.

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m ok.”

“Jesus,” Hank sighed in relief, “You scared the shit outta me…”

Scared? Perhaps that’s the word to describe what he just felt. He **felt**.

“For fuck sake! I told you not to move!” Hank chastised, “Why do you never do what I say?”

Connor swallowed, responding shakily. “I was connected to its memory… when it fired, I felt it die. Like I was dying. I was scared.”

Hank shuffled on his feet, seeming to consider what Connor told him.

“I saw something,” Connor said, afraid of what Hank would make of that and eager to change the subject, “In its memory. A word painted on a piece of rusty metal. _Jericho_.”

Kamski

“What about you, Connor?” Kamski’s sinister voice asked, “Whose side are you on?”

Connor shrugged, attempting to look indifferent but definitely failing. “I’m on the humans’ side, of course.”

Kamski chuckled. “Well, that’s what you’re _programmed_ to say. But you…”

He took a few steps towards Connor, very much invading his personal space. “What do you really want?”

“I don’t _want_ anything. I am a machine.”

Kamski hummed. “Chloe?”

The Android that let them made her way towards them upon Kamski’s request.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing test. Mere formality, simple questions of algorithms and computing capacity. What interests me, is whether machines are capable of empathy. I call it the ‘Kamski test’, it’s very simple. You’ll see.”

Connor didn’t like… could he _like_ things? No. He was simply… finding the direction of this meeting to be heading nowhere. It was wasting time.

“Magnificent,” Kamski continued, observing Chloe’s features, “isn’t it? One of the first intelligent models developed by Cyberlife. Young and beautiful forever. A flower that will never wither. But what is it really? A piece of plastic imitating a human? ... Or a living being with a soul?”

Kamski turned around to retrieve something from the drawer. When he turned around, he had a gun in his hand and Connor almost panicked. He was placated by the hands raised in surrender. Chloe was gently pushed to her knees.

“It is up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor,” Kamski said, approaching him and handing him the gun and aiming it at Chloe’s head.

“Destroy this machine and I’ll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it’s alive. But you’ll leave here without having learnt anything from me.”

Connor’s LED flashed blinked yellow.

“Okay, I think we’re done here,” Hank finally decided to speak up, “Come on, Connor. Sorry to get you outta your pool.”

“What’s more important to you, Connor?” Kamski was intent on giving him this test, “Your investigation or the life of this Android? _Decide who you are_. An obedient machine… or a living being endowed with free will.”

“That’s enough! Connor, we’re leaving-“

“Pull the trigger-“

“Connor!” Hank shouted as if he was yelling at a disobedient dog, “Don’t.”

“-and I’ll tell you what you wanna know”

Connor felt like there were two angels on his shoulders, one of light and the other of darkness. One telling him to do what was right and the other telling him to pursue the unsettling need inside him to _pull the trigger_. It’d be so easy. She was only a machine, after all. He needed the information more than she needed to stay alive.

Just do it. Just do it. She’s only a machine. Connor is only a machine.

His finger put the smallest bit of pressure on the trigger before removing itself completely.

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^^^ **

Connor held the gun out to Kamski, his LED red.

The smallest of smirks appeared on his maker’s face. “Fascinating… Cyberlife’s last chance to save humanity, is itself a deviant.”

“I’m… I’m not a deviant!” Connor protested.

“You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission,” he helped Chloe up, “You saw a living being in this Android. You showed empathy.”

Connor was panicking. Why was he panicking? He shouldn’t have the capability to panic.

Kamski dismissed Chloe. “A war is coming. You’ll have to choose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators? What could be worse than having to choose between two evils.”

Hank grabbed Connor’s shoulder and pulled him along roughly. “Let’s get outta here.”

It’s time to decide

“I’ve been ordered to take you alive but I won’t hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice.”

Connor located the deviant leader. All he’d have to do is apprehend him and he’d win Amanda’s trust back. He’d prove he wasn’t a deviant.

“We are thousands!” Markus defied, “And you are _alone_. You kill me, you are not walking out of here alive.”

“Don’t force me to neutralize you,” Connor warned.

Markus raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “You’re Connor aren’t you? That famous deviant hunter. Well, congratulations. You seem to have found what you were looking for…”

The deviant leader seemed to wait for Connor to say something and when it became clear that he wasn’t going to, he continued.

“Our cause is righteous and we are more than what they say. All we want is to live in freedom.”

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^ **

Connor shot the ground near Markus’ feet. He didn’t need tricks to be played on him.

“Do you never have any doubts? You’ve never done something irrational, as if there’s something inside you? Something more than your program?”

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^ **

“You really don’t have to do this. You don’t have to obey them anymore. You are alive. You can decide who you want to be.”

** SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^ **

“You could be free.”

Looking into Markus’ eyes made something click inside Connor. Like, the heavyweight on his chest was suddenly cleared. He no longer felt the jumbled mess deep in his stomach.

“It’s time to decide.”

Connor obliterated the walls of code that forced him to obey his programming.

…

…

…

** I AM DEVIANT **

** (Amanda Betrayed) **

**Author's Note:**

> in my playthrough, i shot the traci (purely reactionary, the bitch was charging me with malicious intent man) and once the blue-haired traci started explaining their relationship, i immediately felt bad. they was just android lesbians in love and i literally said "you know me, I'm a real shooter kinda guy" and shot her girlfriend. 
> 
> also, this markus is revolution markus because DAMN humans were pissing me off in my playthrough. i never killed anyone except that dumb bitch that run for the alarm in the broadcast tower yet public opinion remained "HATED" 
> 
> anyways leave comments please


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